Compromise, Sacrifice and all that jazz

The other day I was listening to a radio jingle that has prompted me to write this post. It was about a complaining husband, who has been compromising things ever since his marriage. And then there’s a voice over: “Har waqt compromise compromise compromise.” Though I have no clue what he was compromising on, it was clear that this was an indication of him not leading a happy life because of his wife (who has made his life miserable).

We often come across such stereotypes in our society. The most common one about marriage and men is what I have mentioned above. While (most) men (think and) say that their freedom is threatened by an institution called marriage, they forget that there is also another person involved in this. The woman, his wife/partner.

The advertisements, movies and every form of media portray married men as losers who are wasting their lives. To add to this, they also make the men look happy when their wives are out of station or away from home.

What is ignored in the process is that the woman and her choices I’m not saying that all married women are subjected to some sort of restrictions when it comes to career and freedom, but majority of them have to ‘sacrifice.’ I deliberately use the word ‘sacrifice’ because of our so called Indian way of defining the ‘sati-savitri-sort-of-wife’.  In a patriarchal society like ours, most women have to, at some point of time, let go of their ambitions and end up taking care of the family. What we don’t wish to see here or ignore is that the woman (who has become the wife) loses her freedom as soon as she enters the man’s territory.

While he thinks always about he losing freedom because of his wife, he tends to conveniently ignore that this woman also is human and also is born with freedom which is curtailed at the very beginning of their relationship.  

And, it is surprising to see how people react when they find out that the husband is spending time with his wife or cooks or even goes shopping with her. The common perception here is that, he has succumbed (to her). Meaning, without boozing with his friends over a game of Cricket (which according to his male friends is FREEDOM), this is seen as an act of ‘compromise.’

Though the woman’s compromise/sacrifice here is ignored, the man is still in the focus. What we ought to think is, how long are we going to keep the man in focus even while he curtails the woman’s freedom? Doesn’t it testify the gender inequality persistent in our society? Think….and leave a message. You are free to oppose.

Here’s something to cheer you up:

They say: “Behind every successful man, there is a woman” But, the question is, “How many are successful?” :D